What happened to me?

As a girl I used to look up and admire
I used to listen and aspire.
As a woman I sometimes look down and degrade
I use to play and disparage.
Where did I go wrong?
What part of my life taught me that it was
acceptable to undermine
when all I have within me is what their lives
have added unto mine?
I wish I could go back and find that little girl,
and ask her for the secret that kept her so alive in her childish joy.
 
As a girl I looked at a boy and saw in him the
little prince
as a woman I see the princely glory fade
and feel betrayed.
What part of my life made me see them as a
crusade?
When all I am is built on love?
When proclaimed my mind it might be wise to
condemn the princely sight
and build up walls through pride?
When told my mind my soul to shift to slight
hope?
that till dawn my heart should withdraw
and my mind will lead and beat emotions?
When told my mind my body to act like the
dreaded princes -now beheaded-
bed the princesses till they are shredded?!
In my thoughts I beg the little girl to bring
back that innocence,
because that love, that turned to lust, has made me ignorant.
 
As a girl there was a true sparkling smile
as a woman I long for a sensational short time
that makes my atrophied heart smile.
When did the crack become concrete
that keeps my scandalous heart so empty?
 
What happened to me?

*** 01/2010 

• Leer otras obras de Paulin Perduglé
• pperduweb.de(Protegido contra basura (Spam) - Por favor tipea la dirección de correo electrónico a mano)